Kyle hates Halloween. Not just because he screams like a school girl in haunted houses (and uses me as a human shield - should I be concerned about this?), but he also hates the fact that this holiday gives me the excuse to dress up like a dude.
I've been a dwarf, a deer, a Douche Bag (I wore a YOLO hat), Duck Dynasty, etc. But my favorite of all time was Captain Jack Sparrow. I was bartending at Trotter's, the bar I worked at in college, and this is how I greeted customers throughout the night. It also so happened to be the first time I met my best friend from college's future husband. What can I say? I'm all about first impressions.
Kyle will be so pissed I posted this picture, but I don't care. I hope my future daughter grows up to be like me and would rather sport beards than be a slutty cop or nurse.
Being a sluttypants only takes you so far my friends. Trust me, dressing up as a man for Halloween may just land you one. They know it can only go uphill from there...
Have a Happy Halloween everybody!