Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Bachelor






I've been an avid Bachelor watcher since the very beginning - Season One with Alex. But I have come to terms with the fact I would never get cast on the show. 

1. You would never see me caught dead in a bathing suit on TV. I wouldn't be the one playing chicken on his shoulders splashing around in the pool. I would be the one wearing a maxi dress cover up drinking margaritas in the corner. 

2. I felt weird calling Kyle my fiance after ten years together. And I'm supposed to do that after three weeks? I have bags of spring mix salad that have sat in my fridge longer than that. 

And after all these years, Kyle has realized that if you can't beat em - join em, and started a Bachelor draft with our friends. I have won two years in a row, but sadly I think my streak is up. This year I decided to pick someone I actually liked (Renee) so I'm out of the running. But Ps. I just saw online that she's engaged to her childhood sweetheart - and in better news, he's hot! Go Renee!

Now the two token hot blondes are left, imagine that. I think he'll go with Claire. Yeah she's batshit but I'll give it to her - she has some nicely groomed eyebrows. I find myself staring at them and thinking about how I haven't gotten mine waxed in months, only to have to rewind and watch that part all over again.

Either way, I'm sure the finale on Monday will undoubtedly be the MOST CONTROVERSIAL FINALE IN BACHELOR HISTORY.

Right.






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