Sunday, June 2, 2013
What Not To Do When Picking Out a Wedding Dress
Everyone from my fourth grade niece to my fifty-year-old mom, have spent their Friday nights watching "Say Yes to The Dress." I included, was a total "Say Yes to The Dress" junkie. Having seen the show numerous times, I envisioned how my dress buying experience would be. When I found my dream dress, I would weep and cry, hug my mom, the heavens would open, the angels would sing, and I would continue to weep and cry.
Cut to me finding my dress: "Yeah, it's cool. I like it." That's it. No tears, no angels, no tissues. That was seriously it. It was a very logical matter-of-fact reaction. When the bridal stylist asked me again if I was sure this was my dress, my response was "Sure. Looks good."
My reaction wasn't because I didn't like the dress, it was just my natural feelings at the time. But because I didn't have my "Say Yes to The Dress" moment, I second guessed my dress decision everyday leading up to the wedding. The dress didn't make me cry, so it wasn't really the one?
It wasn't until I met wedding dress designer Rani Totman of St.Pucchi, that I realized how normal my reaction was. She told me that out of every 10 people at her salon, only 5 or less cry. So no need to analyze and agonize over the dress decisions you make. Our reactions, whatever they may be, are perfectly okay. Waterworks or not.
Would you agree with me that buying a dress only to find it half off a month later, may be one of the worst feelings ever? The same goes for wedding dresses, so don’t be in a hurry to buy them right off the bat.
Have fun trying them on, but do your homework. If you think you've found the dress, go home and see when that designer is having their next trunk show. That way you’ll be buying your dream dress, but with at least ten percent off, which will likely cover your sales tax.
Also be mindful of changing trends from year to year. I had a long engagement of two years, so a dress that may have been in style the first year of my engagement may have gone out of style by the time I got married. But this doesn’t mean you should procrastinate. Wedding dresses take six to eight months to be delivered, so if you wait too long, you’ll be forced to pull from samples, which drastically limits your selection.
Lastly, bridal designers show off their new collections every April & October. So if you get engaged around those months, be sure to try on dresses after those bridal fashion weeks. You may see a dress from a new collection that you fall in love with, but might have missed otherwise.
You may not have known this, but Young MC actually wrote his line, “Don’t just stand there, bust a move” as advice for brides trying on dresses. Really this isn’t a known fact? I’m surprised! All kidding aside, this is one nugget of information I wish I would have known during my dress search.
We’ve all seen the drill. Stand on a podium, suck it in, smile, and try to picture yourself wearing that gown. But one thing I wish I had done is SIT. No one ever told me I should try SITTING in my dress. And on my wedding day, boy did I find out the hard way.
Sure the thing looked great on me, with its corseted back making my waist look super tiny, but when I tried to put on my shoes for pictures, I realized I had a major problem. I couldn’t sit, let alone breathe in the thing! It was like my internal organs were cursing my name everytime I tried to bend.
So take it from me, as a girl who’s spleen may still be suffering, move around in your dresses when you try them on. Sit, squat, do the “Dougie,” whatever you need to do to make sure you are nothing but comfortable on your wedding day.
We are always our own worst critics, especially when it comes to pictures. How many times must you take a picture with your girlfriends until everyone agrees it’s one they all like? I’m guessing more than once.
So be sure to take lots of pictures of every angle of the dresses you try on, even the angles you find least flattering. You can’t pick and choose what glimpses people will get of you in your dress. So make sure your dress not only flatters your front, but your back, your sides, and every area in between.
On my wedding day, I turned around and said, “This thing has a train?” See that’s why I’m here for you guys. I’m your guinea pig. Now onto more things I wish I would have known.
Take note of how the fabric appears in pictures. Lots of times, dresses made of taffeta or silk satin may look great in person, but the way the light hits them causes them to look wrinkled in photographs. And after all, it’s the photographs that are going to last a lifetime.
Lastly take note of how your body looks in the pictures. My favorite body part is my waist, so I made sure to find a dress that cinched it (so tight I couldn’t breathe…). So if you like your arms, or your legs, or your collarbone, be sure to choose a dress that shows them off, and more importantly that shows off your partner’s favorite assets as well. And speaking of partners…
When picking out a dress, the question asked by all bridal stylists is "What style are YOU looking for?" But have you ever stopped to ask your soon-to-be husband what HE'S looking for? I was tossing and turning over two dresses, both I could have seen myself wearing down the aisle. One was a fashion-forward lace and organza number and the other a more traditional hip hugging silk satin rouched dress.
That night, I asked my future husband, "Do you like lace?" His answer - "I hate it." Welp, problem solved.
Let's face it, girls dress to impress other girls. Guys could care less what is 'trendy' or 'cute.' They just care about how the outfit makes your body look and how it makes you feel. I don't think a guy has ever uttered the phrase, "Your legs look really hot in those printed palazzo pants!" (Well unless they're gay and then by default have an awesome sense of style.)
If I wouldn't have stopped and asked Kyle about what he liked, I would have been walking down the aisle in an uber trendy lace gown that I'm sure my girlfriends would have loved, but more importantly Kyle wouldn't have. Your fiance loves you, so of course he is going to say you look great no matter what. But just remember, he's the person you should be dressing for, not everyone else.
You may cry or you may not, you may choose lace or you may not, you may choose a dress you can breathe in or you may not. Everyone is unique, as will be every dress shopping experience. But in the end, remember it's fit over fashion. And more importantly, it's not about the labels, it's about the love.