Monday, February 18, 2013

Always a Bridesmaid...

Meet Smitty. A professional bridesmaid. I feel she has earned this title because she has spent the greater part of her adult life buying strappy sandals and acting like she cares about your big day as much as you do. Why the need for an I Guess I Do bridesmaids contributor? Because they should be able to bitch too. Enjoy her post in her own words below. 

Will you go bankrupt to be my bridesmaid? 

It is truly an honor to be a part of your friends wedding. Out of all the people she has ever met in the entire world to stand next to her on wedding day, she chose you. The answer should be easy but sometimes, it comes with hesitation because it’s no secret that being a bridesmaid means spending time and spending money. In a perfect world, you could look into the future and see how much time and money this wedding is going to cost you. If you couldn’t handle it, you could gracefully decline and save yourself; but this isn’t a perfect world because *N’Sync is not back together and I’m not a size 2. 

The first option is to say YES! And if you say yes to being a bridesmaid, you say yes to everything that comes with that role – buying whatever dress she wants, booking a Las Vegas hotel suite for the bachelorette party, using your vacation time to attend a week of wedding events. However, if some of that hesitation creeps in, it’s best to be honest with your bride about the months ahead. I'm a west coaster who moved from Ohio so I've been a bridesmaid for a few friends back east. When I get popped the question, I flat out give a disclaimer before committing. "I can't fly back for all the extra events like the showers, bachelorette parties, and dress shopping. But I will be there by your side, fluffing your dress and reaching down my cleavage to find you a tissue, as you say your vows to the man you love." All of my brides have understood where I'm coming from because even though I would love to rack up frequent flyer miles by traveling back and forth, it's just not realistic. Being open and upfront right off the bat lets her know your situation so later she’s not surprised that you’re M.I.A for all pre-wedding festivities.

Now there’s a whole different idea I haven’t even explored yet. I can’t say that I’ve done this myself but what about the option of saying NO? Some feel that shouldn’t even be an option – why is that? Is it because it’s ungrateful to decline such an honored request? Is it because the bride was in your wedding, so you must be in hers? No, it’s neither of those things yet it’s so wrong to think someone could say no to being a bridesmaid. Perhaps you’re super popular and are committed to 3 other weddings this summer. Or money is tight due to the fact that you just graduated college and have yet to land a job where income doesn’t come from tips. Whatever the case may be, save you and the bride a headache and politely decline the offer. In the end, you’re probably doing the bride a favor. The last thing she needs to worry about is you being able to make shower favor gifts, while she’s shitting a brick because her future mother-in-law is threatening to sing at the reception.

But if you’re like me, you’ve said YES! Congrats. All you can do now is just suck it up, share any bridezilla moments to your other girlfriends, and pray your bride isn’t shopping in the couture dress section – otherwise you can kiss your bank account “Bye, Bye, Bye.”

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